


Phone Numbers

by newmagicwand



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Chandler Hallow - Freeform, Chris Tyson - Freeform, Falling In Love, Flirting, Fluff and Angst, Jimmy Donaldson - Freeform, Late Night Conversations, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, No Smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Phone Calls, Pining, Secret Crush, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Unfinished, inspired by ringtone by 100 gecs kinda, karl gets flustered a lot, karl has sleeping problems, karlnap, mr beast - Freeform, no beta we die like men, real name usage for sapnap at some points
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:08:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28272144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newmagicwand/pseuds/newmagicwand
Summary: “I hate you.” Karl smiles. He feels goosebumps prickle his skin.He’s your friend. He’s makes these jokes all the time.Karl brushes it off.There's a beat of silence before he speaks again, “Sapnap? Why wont you give me your phone number?”—karl finally gets sapnaps phone number, and finds himself calling him more than he expected. he starts thinking about his friend in a different way.
Relationships: Karl Jacobs & Sapnap, Karl Jacobs/Sapnap
Comments: 103
Kudos: 867





	1. Numbers

The first call Karl got was sudden and short. He just ended his stream with Sapnap, where he convinced him to give him his number. 

It was late and night and Karl couldn't sleep. He found himself staring up at his ceiling, counting individual specks of dust in the air. It drove him insane that he couldn’t get sleep.

Karl has had problems with sleeping ever since he was young. Insomnia claimed him early in high school, making him unable to sleep most nights. 

He tried scrolling through twitter, liking fanart and replying to some of the people he follows, but that didn't help him either. That just made him more become awake.

He got up from his bed, walking over to switch his light on. The sudden bright flash hurt his eyes, so he shut them fast. He then walked over to his desk and sat down. He pulled up streamlabs.

He decided to stream on impulse, having really no plan for what to do.

He ended up just talking to chat, answering questions and showing them his favorite trinkets that he keeps in his house. A couple of his favorite shirts, a poster, a vinyl record, a signed Over the Garden Wall VHS. The essentials. 

Sapnap had been online on discord, and Karl texted him during the stream, but didn’t show chat. 

**KarlJacobs** today at 2:36 AM

 **im streaming, feel free to hop in call!**

**Sapnap** today at 2:38 AM

**gotcha**

Karl could only act surprised when Sapnap joined around a minute later. “I didn't expect you to join that quick.” Karl said, hiding his laugh behind a sweater paw.

The chat was filled with his friend’s name.

“Did’ja want me to join later? I could always go,” Sapnap fakes guilt.

“No! Sapnap you’re fine. I’m foolin’ around.” Karl says. “I think I’m going to end soon though.” 

Sapnap holds back a laugh. Its painfully obvious and Karl can hear it. “What. Say it.” Karl says.

“Nevermind. You… you look like a snack, Jacobs.” Sapnap changes the subject nonchalantly, with the other boys face turning bright red. 

“I hate you.” Karl smiles. He feels goosebumps prickle his skin. 

_He’s your friend. He’s makes these jokes all the time._ Karl brushes it off. 

There's a beat of silence before he speaks again, “Sapnap? Why wont you give me your phone number?” 

The other boy exhales a laugh. “Pretty random of you to say that.” 

“I mean, it's the question on everyone's mind right now.” Karl replies.

“I bet no one in chat was thinking about it until you brought it up.” Sapnap says. “You've been collecting numbers the past few days, first Dream, then George and Quackity. Shawty brave.” 

Karls face falls flat. 

“C’mon please?” Karl begs. “What.” Sapnap says. Karl can hear Sapnaps smile through his headset. 

He stands up from his desk and pushes his chair out from underneath him and kneels on the ground, his hands clasped together. 

“Look at my stream right now.” He says, his voice sounding away from the mic. He can hear a few clicks before Sapnap laughs a real laugh this time, not a simple exhale of the nose.

“Hmm.. why _should_ I give it to you? I need a reason, Jacobs.” Sapnap leans closer to the mic as he says that one word, making Karls face flush pink as he gets up and sits in his seat. 

_Why are you blushing?_

“Uhhh….” Karl quickly skims through chat. “So I can send you pictures of my outfits?” His voice lightens at the end of the sentence. 

“I mean.. that _could_ be a valid reason.” Sapnap starts, his voice is tainted with doubt. “But I dont think its the real reason.” 

“So what's the real reason, Karl?” 

“I just-“ Karl stops. He looks at chat to distract himself. 

“So we can group facetime with George and Dream!” Karl smiles into the camera. He prays his cover up works.

He was dying inside. Why was this making him so nervous? 

_It’s a simple question._

“You're farming aww’s.” The other boy deadpans through the call. Karl returns to reality. 

“We could always group call on discord at any time.” Sapnap says. 

“I know- I just... Whatever. Just.. please? C’mon.” Karl has given up at this point. 

Silence again. It's short lived before Sapnap speaks.

“I’ll send it in dms.” Sapnap says into his mic, his voice raspy. 

Karl hums a response, trying to hide his smile from chat. “Well chat, I think that's all for tonight, I’m tired.” Karl says. 

“Wait, so all you wanted me for was for my number? Cold, Karl. You're stone cold.” Sapnap jokes. “Not true. I’m sleepy.” Karl says as he crosses his arms. 

He decides to say goodbye to his stream, giving a goodbye hug to his chat. He raids Puffy, who is live at this ungodly hour.

He closes streamlabs and discord is now on his full screen in front of him. “I’m going to call you.” Sapnap says. “Answer before you go to sleep, alright?” Sapnap says. 

“Fine by me.” Karl says. He leans his elbow on the table, and rests his chin on his hand. He can't help but smile. He felt giddy.

Sapnap says a quick goodbye and hangs up the call. Karl copies the younger boy's number into his phone and sends him a quick text.

**Hey Sapnap! Its Karl :)**

He doesn’t get a response, which is fine. Sapnap was probably busy doing something on his computer. 

Karl shuts everything off and crawls back into bed, his body instantly relaxing as he puts his head on his pillow. He closes his eyes and his breathing slows, 

but then his phone starts to ring.

He picks it up and answers, sitting up in his bed with the phone to his ear. “Hi.” He says, the comforter that was wrapped around him falling loosely around his waist.

“You sound tired, I won't keep you that long.” Sapnap says. 

“I’m fine, I promise. I have stayed up way longer for Mr. Beast videos.” Karl says, running his hand through his hair. 

“What have you been up to today?” Karl asks. “You have been on discord all day.” 

“Umm.. I spent most of the day helping George with editing, I played some CS with Dream for a while, but then I left to join your stream.” Karl could listen to Sapnap speak all day, even though he wouldn't admit it. 

“You didn't have to leave Dream, you could’ve stayed.” 

“Karl, it's fine, I like joining calls on stream. It's fun.” Sapnaps reply was instant. 

“Whatever you say.” Karl leans back on his pillow. 

“Are you in bed?” asks Sapnap. His voice is a little lower. Karl hums a response. His face feels warm, like the sun is shining on it. But his room is pitch black.

“Did you enjoy the stream?” 

“I always enjoy your streams.” The boy on the phone replies. It makes Karl smile. 

“Ah, I’m glad.” he shifts his weight so he's now on his side, propped up by his elbow, still holding the phone close to his ear.

Silence. Karl is used to it, he finds himself savoring the sweet quiet between them. They are close enough bond to just sit together on their shared, private discord server and not say anything, appreciating the company. 

But this silence felt different. It felt like Karl was waiting for words that were just on the tip of the other boy's tongue.

“I did like seeing you on your knees though, Jacobs.” Sapnap says into the phone. 

There it was.

Karl freezes. It feels like his body goes into anaphylactic shock, his muscles tense as he squeezes his phone, the phonecase leaving indents in his palms. 

“Be quiet.” Karl says. He craves the once familiar silence. 

“Do I make you nervous?”

“...Of course not.” A lie. Karl was a bad liar, and Sapnap knew that.

Sapnap hums in amusement. “Alright, I'll leave it at that for tonight, ‘night Jacobs. I’ll call you tomorrow.” Sapnap says. Karl tries, but can't respond. 

The phone sounds farther away from his face. There is the sound of fabric moving. “Night.” Sapnap repeats again. 

“Goodnight..” Karl echos. Sapnap hangs up on queue.


	2. Sunlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karl and Sapnap spend time together on the SMP, but there's a feeling in the back of Karls mind that cant go away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new year!!! take a new chapter :P

The phone is still there when Karl wakes up. He wished it would’ve gone somewhere far away. Argentina, Karl thinks. Or just off the face of the Earth all together.

The sun shines through his window and onto his face, making Karl feel a familiar sense of warmth.

One thing about Karl is that he loves the sun.

Chris would always call him out for just standing and staring straight into it when they were taking breaks from recording with the crew.

Karl remembers him saying once, “Your skin is gonna feel like sandpaper if you don't step out of the sun!” But it didn't stop Karl from basking in the warmth and it didn't help that summer was his favorite season.

He loved the bright white rays in the morning, shining through his blinds, stretching over his face like someone was caressing him.

He enjoyed the honeycomb-yellow hue that brought out his features during golden hour, his mom would say that his eyes would turn seafoam green under the light.

But North Carolina was cold. It was November, and winters would get in the low 30’s. Snow would pile on the ground and that would keep Karl inside most days.

Skies covered in damp greys, sometimes it was calm and sometimes it wasn't. Thunder would scare him, lighting was even worse.

He hated the cold and the rain, so he savored the summer days he would experience.

He stretches his legs, groaning as his hips pop loudly below him. He reaches his hand over his shoulder and to grab his phone, turning it on.

2:26 pm. Two texts wait for him on the homescreen.

**Nick Sapnap**  
**gm**

**Nick Sapnap**  
**wait i forgot we are in different timezones lol**

Karls stomach felt light. He never understood the hype around getting good morning texts, but now he understood it.

It seems that he forgot about last night, so Karl breathes a sigh of relief.

He shoots him a text back.

**its fine! Karl writes. its only 2 here, no biggie.**

Karls mouth is dry from overnight dehydration, so he goes straight to the kitchen. He grabs a water bottle from the fridge and opens it, drinking almost the whole thing.

**Nick Sapnap**  
**what do you have planned today?**

Karl thinks for a second before responding, he doesn't want to seem clingy.

He really has nothing planned today, he was thinking about grinding for netherite on the smp by himself.

He makes his way back to his room and slips on a hoodie, leaving on his pajama pants.

**gonna get on the smp and get some netherite since i have none**

He turns on his PC and gets adjusted in his seat.

**Nick Sapnap**  
**you need help?**

Karl stares at the message with wide eyes.

His face starts to feel warm. He touches his fingertips to his skin, furrowing his eyebrows slightly.

Why all of the sudden did he start getting so flustered around Sapnap? He never felt like this before last night's stream.

He always went along with the flirty jokes, the compliments, and the messages he would send through discord.

But what changed? All of the sudden these compliments started to make Karl feel like his body was burning.

He rubs his eyes in disappointment. It's nothing. He reassures himself. Maybe you just feel a little sick, it is winter after all.

He remembers that he forgot to respond. He hovers over the letters on his screen, quickly typing out a response.

**idk, i kinda wanna do it myself. not to sound rude :(**

He instantly deletes it. You cant hide from him, Karl thinks.

He types a few more responses, but ends up deleting all of them.

The typing bubble shows up on his screen. He panics. Sapnaps has been watching him type and delete every message.

**Nick Sapnap**  
**having a little trouble with responding?**

**no >:( just get on the discord**

Karl sighs. He puts on his headset and opens discord, clicking on the server he shares with Sapnap.

They made the server a while ago, on most days they would sit in calls for hours muted until the other person joined.

Karl joins the voice channel and opens the minecraft launcher.

**Nick Sapnap**  
**ill be there just one second**

Karl reads the text but doesn’t respond, instead opting to go on the SMP before Sapnap so it looks like he's ready. He would get his armor and tools, sone food and blocks and meet Sapnap at the portal.

He smiles at his master plan and logs on the server, pressing tab to see whos on.

Sapnaps already on the server. The face of his minecraft skin looks Karl dead in the eyes.

Karl puts his head in his hands and groans softly into them. How is he always one step ahead of him at all times?

The light through his window dims. The sun must’ve gone behind a cloud. Not wanting to be seen.

Sapnap writes in game chat.

**< Sapnap > hey**

**< KarlJacobs > uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hi**  
**< KarlJacobs > :)**

He heads to his house to get his things, his face flat. He really wanted to impress Sapnap. He goes through a bunch of his chests, getting his armor and some food.

“Earth to Karl?” Sapnap speaks through Karls headphones, startling him. “Are you there?”

Karl swallows his words, but then speaks. “Yeah.. sorry. Hi!” He says. His face is already starting to warm up, and he curses to himself.

“You alright?” The other boy says. “I called your name like three times. I thought you were muted since you were not responding, but you weren’t.”

Karl feels like he has fallen into a nervous trance. His chest suddenly feels very hot under his hoodie, like its gonna explode at any moment.

“I think im just sick,” Karl tugs at his hoodie strings as he talks. “‘m not sure though.”

“Sick?” The other boy’s voice wavers.

“I just… I might have a fever, I think.” Karl leaves his house and makes his way to the nether portal. “I'm just really hot and jittery. Like I’m on edge.”

“Hm.” Sapnap hums. “...Do you think you’re dehydrated?”

“Not sure.” Karl says. He knows he's not sick, he's just trying to convince himself that he is, so that he will stop thinking about how his friend is making him feel right now.

“Lets just stop talkin’ about it, maybe i'll feel better once we start mining.” Karl mumbles. Sapnap laughs a response followed with a small “alright” which makes Karl smile.

Karl follows Sapnaps trail as they head to Fundy’s sheep farm and watches him shear the wool on screen. He finishes his water and throws it away just in time for Sapnap to finish what he was doing.

“Okay. I just crafted a full inventory of beds, here take some.” His character throws a couple beds from his inventory, all different colors.

Karl makes his character shift and nod, and he can hear Sapnap do his classic exhale laugh.

They head to the nether portal, but they stop before go in.

“Set your spawn.” Sapnap says casually, placing down a bed.

Karl places his a little further from Sapnap, which gives him a reaction. “Do you not want to sleep next to me?” He says with a whine to his voice.

“Be quiet, we are only setting spawns.” Karl says, trying to change the subject so he forgets.

They set their spawns and head into the portal. “But in real life. Would you sleep next to me?”

“Hypothetically?” Karl asks, switching through his tools with the scroll wheel of his mouse.

“Like if I met up with you, would we sleep in the same bed?”

“Meet up?”

“So many questions.” Sapnap says. “Yeah, would we?”

“I mean, if there's only one bed then sure.” Karl says. It feels hard to swallow. Karl only has one bed.

“Interesting.” Sapnap responds. “Follow me.”

Karl follows Sapnaps character through the nether to the levels to mine netherite.

They mine in silence for a bit, exploding some beds but finding nothing. “Why is this so hard.” Karl says after a few tries.

“Patience, okay?” Sapnap says, his voice soft.

They mine more, they find a few blocks of ancient debris which makes Karl happy. They mine without for what seems like hours. The silence seems different now. It's not like a normal silence they have, but more of an awkward silence.

Dream joins the game, and Sapnap asks if they should switch vc’s to the smp server.

Karl agrees, and they join the call with Dream.

“Hello!” Dream says in his classic voice. “Hey Dream.” Sapnaps voice is low, slightly husky.

“Hey.” Is all Karl can say.

“Dream when are we gonna meet up?” Those words make Karl perk up.

“Soon,” Dream says. “I don't see why we can't meet up soon.”

“See Karl? If Dream can meet up with me why can't you?” Sapnaps voice rings through his ears.

He feels put on the spot. He can't think about meeting with Sapnap. Even thinking about being face to face with him makes his chest heat up.

Him standing close to him, looking at him with a hand on his chest, lips inches apart hurts inside.

He curses at himself. What the hell are you thinking? He's your friend. Stop it.

“Listen, i’ll think about it okay?” Karl says. “He’ll think about it.” Dream echos.

He says he has to go after talking with them for a bit, and leaves the call.

They both decided to turn the debris into scraps and then log off. “You know, last night's call was fun. We should call at that time like, every night.”

“You remember last night's call?” Karl quickly says, fiddling with the cord on his microphone.

“Yeah, you sounded real tired. It was cute though.” He can practically hear his smirk through the call.

“So you think I'm cute, huh?” Karl asks. Might as well go along with it.

“Mm, yeah.” Sapnap hums. “Cute eyes, cute face, cute voice… oh cute hair. how could I forget the hair.”

“Shut it, you nimrod.” Karl laughs. His smile is wide, it feels good to be complimented.

“I’m going to order food… I’ll speak to you soon, ok?” Sapnap says. “Lets call tomorrow around 2, will you be up?”

“Of course I'm up at 2 in the afternoon.” says Karl. “I mean like 2AM, Karl.” Sapnap retorts.

“Of course I'm up at 2 in the morning.” Karl repeats.

“I’ll see you, Jacobs. Get some rest if you think you're sick." The other boy says. 

“Bye.” Karl mumbles. Sapnap leaves the call, leaving Karl alone again. He has deja vu for a moment, sitting in a call alone.

He leaves the call and texts Alex on discord, seeing that he's online.

**KarlJacobs** today at 4:57 PM  
**can we call?**

**Quackity** today at 4:57 PM  
**hey man! something wrong?**

**KarlJacobs** today at 4:58 PM  
**ehhhh idk :(**

Quackity instantly rings Karl. Karl leans his cheek on his hand and responds, adjusting his headset with the other.

“What’s up?” Alex said. Alex's voice is like a warm hug to Karl. Karl never really knew what a best friend was before meeting Alex, and he knows that Alex fits all the criteria.

“Just having some trouble.” Karl speaks.

“I'm always here to help dude. This is a no judgement zone. Just tell me what's wrong.” Alex sounds reassuring. It gives Karl comfort that Alex will always be there for him.

“I think I have a crush on someone. Ugh, that's so embarrassing to say…” He says into his hands, which now cover is face.

“You’re perfectly fine.” Alex says. “Having a crush can be hard. Is it someone you just met?”

“No It's..” Karl pauses. He takes a deep breath.

Alex wouldn't judge you.

The sun outside is gone. It's already setting, but not setting how he likes it. It's dark and grey, not orange and bright.

“It's someone you know.” Karl says calmly.

“Oh. Really? That's fine, you can tell me if you want. Is it Andrea? Or Minx? I mean, if you have a crush on Minx, Schlatt might-“

“Its Sapnap.” Karl blurts out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theres a nice cliffhanger for u! enjoy!


	3. Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karl calls Alex for some help, which doesn't help Karl in the long run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if my chapters are always sooo short, ive never really planned out how long this is gonna be and stuff - im just writing as i go :,)

Karls chest stings. It feels like he got stung by a swarm of bees, his skin puffy - leaving him unable to breathe.

He never thought that he would admit that he would have a crush on his friend, let alone a male friend. 

Karl didn't think he was gay. He’s found other guys attractive, sure, but he's liked girls all of his life - at least he thought that until now.

Karl tries not to move, afraid that Alex will say something that will make him flinch.

The pressure in his ears hurt. It feels like his ears are plugged and are underwater, looking for any sign of release.

The release comes when Alex simply says, “I’m listening.” 

It's a simple enough response. 

Karls throat is sore as he begins to speak. His face is warm as he explains. There's an occasional stutter here and there, and Alex reminds him to take a second - in which Karl does and takes a single breath before continuing. 

He can feel the hotness spreading to his ears. And even though it feels like he’s spiraling, he doesn't stop.

He explains the livestream, the late night phone call, and the weird way he can't get Sapnap out of his mind. The flirting, the urge to meet him - Everything he can think of from the last couple days comes spewing out. 

Alex listens, and it's the best thing he could do. He takes everything in to reflect on when Karl is done.

Karl fiddles with the wire that connects to his headset to his computer. He wraps it around his finger a few times as he talks, cutting off the blood flow, seeing the red lines then fade away. It helps him, oddly enough. His leg won't stop bouncing either.

He finally stops rambling; taking a breath before saying, “That's all. That's… really all.”

He stops. He suddenly feels guilty, ashamed even. Alex is also friends with Sapnap, he could be recording this call or texting him what he's saying. Alex could secretly be judging him, calling him disgusting in his mind. He shouldn't have told him, he should've just swept this crush under the rug just like every other failed and forgotten one.

“I'm sorry.” Karl responds shortly. 

There's so many reasons why. Sorry for bothering him. Sorry for dumping all of his problems on his shoulders. Sorry for admitting his childish crush on his best friend to his other best friend, who is now silent. 

Alex exhales through his nose and Karl can hear him adjust his position in his seat. “Karl, don't ever feel sorry for having a problem.” Alex says finally, his voice soft. 

Karl hears the merge from Alex's persona to his regular self.

“Please just- tell me you wont tell anyone, please.” Karl’s mouth moves before he could even think. It’s embarrassing, but he needs Alex to drill it through his head that he will keep his secret.

“I won't, Karl.” His friend says. 

“I-I just. Im not gay. at least I dont think? I've told you that I dont really like… sex right. But this is a whole new avenue…” Karl struggles with his thoughts. 

“Mhm, you have told me that. And i’ll say this again, it’s perfectly fine for you to not like doing shit like that, okay?” Alex says professionally. He probably picked up the tone from law school. 

The tone made Karl calm down though, it was like talking to some sort of therapist, but the therapist was actually your friend and not some stranger who stares holes into your head.

“You don't need to figure things out just yet, or at all if you would like to. I know many people who are unlabeled in their sexuality, so if that's the part scaring you - just don't worry.” Karl nods but Alex can't see it, so he continues to speak.

“I would say try to relax, and don't try to overthink things. This seems to be giving you unnecessary anxiety, and I don't want to see you nervous.” 

Alex sounds like he's adjusting his headset. His profile photo on discord flashes the green rim. 

“I'm always here for you.”

“Thanks Alex.” Karl smiles. “Thing is, i just don't want to ruin the friendship… because if I do then it'll be weird, since I’m friends with all of his friends, and I-”

“You won't ruin anything.” Alex interrupts. Karl is silent, his mind still running. “I think I’m just gonna get some food and fall asleep. Thanks for the help.”

“I’ll talk to you soon.” Alex says, and disconnects from the call.

——

The next day passes fast. 

He didn't really have time to think about what Alex said, but it lurks in the back of his mind, still there; but not upfront.

Karl has always been bad at taking advice and applying it.

Part of Karl expects Sapnap to forget the call. It was on Karls mind all day, gnawing at the back of his head. He could barely do anything.

_You're just calling your friend._ Karl thinks. _Nothing more than that._

And it isn't. Karl calls his friends all the time, but something about being on the phone with Sapnap while in bed feels more… intimate.

Like he's there, close enough that he can reach up and run his hand through the younger boy's hair, or even crane his neck up where he can kiss his neck perfectly.

Karl closes his eyes. It's late. He should be asleep. 

Sapnaps hand would easily rest on Karls hip, rubbing circles into it. They would be watching some obscure cartoon Karl picked out, something like Clone High or 6teen. Sapnaps hand would fit perfectly in his, melting together like play-doh, the warmth being transferred between them. Karl would fit perfectly around the other boy's arm, slowly drifting off to sleep as he's curled up to his chest, their legs knotted together. 

Karl feels the sleepy feeling overtake him, but he's tugged out of his fantasy as his phone buzzes. It's 2 AM on the minute, and Sapnap is calling. 

Karl thinks about how slick he is for picking a late night hour to call him. Sapnap knew Karl would be groggy, easily spoken - ready to say anything that came to mind with or without consequences. 

Karl picks up with a croak in his throat. “Hey.” 

“Karl.” Sapnap responds. His voice is warm. Karl closes his eyes, the phone (which now on speaker) lays flat on the pillow next to his ear.

Karl murmurs a response, covering his eyes with his forearm. 

“You sound tired.” Karl exhales at Sapnaps painfully obvious statement. “Mhm.” Karl mumbles. “Just been up all day.” 

“I've been waiting to call you, I would’ve called you earlier, but I had to control myself.” Sapnap says.

Control himself. Karl couldn't control himself as he ran his fingers slowly through his hair with his other hand, his eyes still squeezed shut under his forearm, pretending it was the other boys hand. 

“Yeah, control yourself Nick Sapnap.” Karl laughs a tired laugh, but the other line is quiet.

“I think thats the first time you've said my real name.” 

Karl’s eyes shoot open. “Sorry, I won't do it again-“ 

“No.” Sapnap says instantly, like he saw that response coming from a mile away. “You can say it. I actually like it better than you calling me ‘Sapnap.’” 

“Dream doesn’t call you Nick.” 

“Yeah not in front of people, you nimrod.” Sapnap laughs. 

“Nick the nimrod.” Karl shifts on the bed, the phone moving closer to his ear. The silence is deafening.

Karl swallows hard. He breathes out a slow response, “I wish you were here.”

The line is bold, but Karls too far gone to care.

More silence. “...What would you do if I was?” 

Karl holds his breath. “A lot.” Karl says too quickly. 

He would want to spend long afternoons simply sitting in Sapnaps lap, his head fitting perfectly under the others. They would hold hands, Sapnap lazily running a finger up and down the top of Karls thigh. 

Sapnap would plant kisses to Karls scalp, making Karl turn around to kiss him on the lips. The kiss is short, but passionate - Karl leaning in to it, pushing Sapnap back against the couch they were sitting on.

He would want to take him out, showing him around where he lives, taking him on a short car ride to show him his favorite places. A record store, a cat cafe and mountain top, perfect to park Karls car and sit in the back seat, looking at the setting sun. 

Short kisses would turn amorous and sloppy, with Sapnap maneuvering himself so Karl could straddle his lap.

But of course, Karl couldn't say all of that. His eyes flutter shut again.

“I think about it a lot. Meeting you, I mean.” Sapnap says. The familiar sound of fabric is heard from the other side of the line. Karl puts two and two together. He's also in bed. He wonders if he fantasizes that he is next to him too.

“Really?” Karl says. His heat creeps to his cheeks, and he feels more awake.

“Yeah, no lie. I would really want to meet you. We should do it soon, Karl.” 

Karl relaxes his hand on the skin of his stomach, tracing circles on the skin slightly.

“M’Keep talking.” Karl mumbles. “Your voice sounds nice.” 

The response he gets is the sound of fluffy fabric, and a short laugh. “You wanna fall asleep to my voice?”

“Mmhm, It's like you’re here with me.”

“I’ll try.” Sapnaps words are meaningful. He starts to sleepily talk about his day, he had to run some errands for his family and he helped Dream edit his manhunt video. Karl asks how it ends, and Sapnap tells him that he would have to watch when it comes out. The story cuts off there as Karls mind fades out, sleep quickly overtaking him.

“Goodnight.” Karl says, half conscious. 

“Sleep well, Jacobs.” Sapnap responds.

Karls has no time to process what exactly he says next, hes too physically drained to really react. 

“I love you.”

_Shit._


	4. Avoidance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karl hasn't talked to Sapnap in a week.

The next few days are a long drag of ignoring Sapnap as much as he could. 

But Sapnap is always there whether he likes it or not.

On Twitter he's there, replying to his friends every move, typing out whiny replies to Dream when he leaves him out of something, or straight up bullying George. Karl will tweet and he’ll reply flirtatiously to Karl with a simple “Hey cutie” or a rare “You're so handsome.” 

He doesn't reply back.

Twitch and Discord too, lurking in vc’s - waiting for something to happen. Sometimes he’ll be talking to someone Eret or Hbomb off stream, and not notice that Sapnap’s also in the call until he speaks in a hushed tone. Karl makes up a quick excuse for him to leave; throwing off his headset. 

He’ll look over to see his chat repeating his friends name, even though he's not on the SMP or in the voice call. Karl would then instinctively check the viewer list to see his user, which made his stomach turn.

He couldn't face him after saying that. The simple “I love you” made Karls bones chill. He doesn't even remember what happened after that, if Sapnap hung up or said something back - it's all a sad, uncomfortable blur. 

Two days turns into four, then a week. Karl streams once in that time, telling his chat that he's been fine, just needed to take a little break. He also has been preparing for the 24 hour stream he has for Mr. Beast.

Sapnap calls every night at 2. Sometimes Karl is already asleep, but sometimes he isn't. He looks at the screen of his phone, the other boy's name bold and centered on it. His hand hesitates one night, hovering over the answer button - but he pulls it back. 

What the hell would he say if he answered? _Hey! Sorry for ignoring you because I said that I was in love with you which isn't exactly a lie. I can't stop thinking about you!_

It's embarrassing. 

He has a stack of unread messages, debating to himself if he should turn off read receipts and open them - but he concludes that it is too risky.

Some people on Twitter catch on, replying to him asking why him and Sapnap were not interacting. He starts ignoring those tweets.

Alex sees, and comments once about it, with Karl shutting him down.

_“So you're choosing to ignore him? How is this gonna help you?”_ He remembers Alex saying.

The shared Discord goes vacant. Sometimes he hovers his cursor over the icon, seeing that Sapnap is in a voice call. Karl doesn't join. 

It **hurts.** Karl wants to talk to him, but he knows he royally fucked up when he said what he said.

It's the night before the 24 hour stream, and Karl was in bed when he got a text from Alex.

**Alex**

**KARL WANNA PLAY JACKBOX WE NEED ONE MORE PLS**

**Alex**

**FOR MY STREAM**

**Alex**

**ILL REPAY U WE JUST NEED ONE MORE PLAYER LOLOL**

**Alex**

**pls ^_^**

Alex has a problem with double, triple and maybe even quadruple texting. Karl blinks at the texts on his screen and sits up. He's really supposed to be getting sleep, but he decides to move to his desk and turn on his pc.

**ok im on add me to the call**

As Karl puts on his headset and is instantly added to the call. It was all very fast, so he didn't get to hear the voices over Alex screaming, “KARLOS!”

Karl rubs the sleep out of his eyes as he replies with his signature _mm-mm_ laugh. “Are we popping off?” Karl asks.

“Yeah.” The voice is hesitant. 

Of course Alex didn't mention Sapnap was here.

He sounds _different_ \- lacking any energy or enthusiasm when replying. Karls heart speeds up, feeling the pulse in his ears.

Maybe Sapnaps just tired - He can't really read a tone of voice through a call. 

Ignorance is bliss after all. 

Quackity speaks right after the exchange, saying for them to join the game. Other than Sapnap and Alex, the game has Dream, George and Bad.

The tension is high, Karl can feel it.

They play a game of Quiplash, with Alex and Dream dishing out shipping jokes in the first round to get votes from chat. Dream crawls up to first place, leaving the other 3 boys in the middle with Bad in last. 

Sapnap doesn't talk, which the whole call is used to, since Sapnap is usually quiet when it isn't his own stream. The quiet is different to Karl though, he can feel the thick wall of pressure between them, mostly pressure on Karl to speak to him.

Round two starts, and Karl Quiplashes George with his first prompt. 

“Augh c’mon!” George groans. Karl laughs along with the other boys, his chest beating as he hears Sapnap exhale a laugh. “Sowwy Gogy.” Karl mimics. 

They go through more prompts; but then the narrator reads, “My girlfriend broke up with me because I...” 

Two responses show up. 

“Am on the DreamSMP” and “Was caught making out with Karl Jacobs.”

The call explodes in a laugh. “Alex did you write that? Shut up.” Karl giggles. “Why is it always me!” Alex responds.

They take a second to vote and the cards flip, showing the two writers.

The first one is Bad, and the second one is Sapnap.

Sapnap wins and Karl brushes it off, but it's hard to get the sentence out of his mind as they continue into the last round. Karl curses at himself.

“No making out with me Sap?” Alex says. 

“Of course with you too.” Sapnap says louder, leaning forward into the mic.

Karl can sense the Twitter timeline exploding from a mile away. He _wanted_ Karl to hear and it makes Karl mad that he reacted the way that he probably wanted. 

After the game finishes, he DM’s Alex and tells him he's up for a few more games but then he has to go.

**Quackity** today at 1:24 AM

is it bc sapnap is here?

**KarlJacobs** today at 1:25 AM

i have the 24 hour stream remember

A half lie.

**Quackity** today at 1:25 AM

head out whenever ^_^ 

Karl leaves soon after with everyone but Sapnap saying goodbye. Karl stays up for the call, but Sapnap doesn't call that night. 

\----

Karl had to wake up early to get to the studio to prepare, which set him up to be in a constant state of tiredness for the whole day.

He stayed up way too early into the night, waiting for any interaction from Sapnap to occur. Nothing happened.

He's greeted with Chris and Chandler, both smiling wide.

“You ready to be stuck with us for a whole 24 hours?” Chris beams, placing a hand on Karls back to lead him as they walk. “We've spent way more time together than that, I think 24 hours is fine.” Karl replies with a yawn.

“How much sleep did you get last night? You’re looking a bit rough.” Candler says.

“Not enough.” Karl says.

Jimmy is setting up things as they walk in, getting a small wave and a smile and wave as a welcome. They boys sit down at the table, with Karl taking off his jacket and slipping on a Mr. Beast shirt over his crewneck. 

They all set up stacks of MacBook's, iPhones and iPads and then sit back down for the next 24 hours. Karl runs to the bathroom as the livestream starts. He takes a quick mirror selfie - doing that awkward pose he always does - and captions it with the link and tweets it out. 

He gets back to the table just in time for them to start the stream. 

_This is going to be painstakingly long._

They sign phones and laptops for the next hours, talking to chat and eating some lunch that Tareq bought for them late in the afternoon.

“So, how was your week?” Jimmy has been asking the table of boys the same question, but now it was Karls turn.

“Uhhh…” Karl chews his food before replying. “It was fine.” 

“That's all? Just fine?” Jimmy raises an eyebrow. “Karls weeks are never just _fine_ , I want to hear about it!”

Karl swallows his food. He leans his elbow on the table and places a hand on his cheek. “Well, I haven't really… been doing anything. Just resting, I guess.”

“Really? That's boring.” Chandler says as he takes an obnoxious bite from his burger. 

“Yeah… just low energy I guess.” Karl replies.

“Have you been taking care of yourself?” Chris asks in the classic fatherly tone.

“Yes.” Karl mumbles.

“Don't make me make you move back in. I don’t think I can handle two babies.” 

Karl inflates his cheeks in a pout. “I'm not a-! Nevermind.” Karl shuts his mouth and goes back to signing.” He felt a little more awake, 

until he wasn't anymore.

Signing several boxes over and over only made the boy more worn-out, his attention wearing thin. It was around (what he thought was) 1 AM, and the other boys were still going strong.

“You okay Karl?” Jimmy said from behind the camera. It was only him along with Chandler, Chris and Nolan in front of the camera. He hasn't taken one break. 

His eyes start to flutter closed and his head bows but he catches himself, his eyes going wide. “‘M fine.” Karl groans.

Chris gets up from his chair and goes up behind Karl and rubs his shoulders. Karl leans into the touch, Chris knows how Karl likes to be held and hugged most of the time. It was clear that his love language was physical touch.

Karl would never pass up an opportunity to hug his friends, hold their hands or quickly kiss them on the cheek as a joke. 

“Karl you gotta rest, bud.” Chris says. Karls eyes start to close again, his consciousness slowly drifting away from him. “I’ll take a nap here.” Karl says under his breath as he rests his head on his arms, like a kid in elementary school. 

Chris still rubs his back, Karl hearing his talking slowly fade out as he falls asleep.

2 AM hits, and Sapnap decides to call. He knew Karl would be on the livestream, but he didn’t expect Jimmy to pick up. 

“Let's put Karls friend on the loudspeaker!” Jimmy says, holding Karls ringing phone in his hand to show the camera. The boy in mention was fast asleep on the table, his mouth open slightly as he slept. 

“Hey.” Sapnap said, his voice booming throughout the room.

“Sapnap! You now live in front of over two hundred thousand people!” Jimmy cheers. 

“Oh! I wasn’t expecting… this. It's no problem though, how's the signing going?” 

“All fine and dandy,” Jimmy looks over at Karl. “Karl is fast asleep. We might move him to the couch, he's been sleeping in this hunched over position for like.. an hour.” 

“Awh, yeah I see him on my screen.” Sapnap laughs. “I'm usually in bed by now, but I’ve been watching the stream for a while.” 

“You call Karl while you're in bed?” Chandler asks. “Most nights, yup. But lately he's been ignoring me.” Sapnap’s voice says over the speakers. 

“Ignoring you how?” Jimmy raises an eyebrow, leaning back on the table. 

“Well, y’know- ignoring my calls and texts, Discord messages, yadda yadda.” Sapnap says normally. It's like none of it phased him, it's like he knew what he was doing.

“Well, how can we change that? I could wake him up right now but I think he needs to get some rest.” Jimmy says.

“What do you have in mind?” Sapnap responds.

Jimmy thinks, looking at his crew behind the camera, nodding at them. 

“How about we fly you out?” 

Jimmy is met with silence. “Sounds good!” Sapnap chimes, hearing the smile in his voice. 

With Karl still asleep, he has no time to object.

**Sapnap** @sapnap

GUESS WHOS MEETING UP WITH KARL LOLLLLLLLLLLL

**20.6k** Retweets **4.3k** Quote Tweets **234k** Likes

**Quackity** @Quackity

replying to @sapnap

AND U DIDNT INVITE ME?????? 😡😡😡😡

  
 **17.3k** Retweets **5k** Quote Tweets **104k** Likes


	5. Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karl’s week spirals out of control.

Dreams are odd. 

Karl rarely had dreams, and on the nights that he did they were usually lucid with him being conscious enough to make his own decisions to keep the dream going. 

The dreams only came under certain circumstances. They came on the most absurd nights, once when he was a little too tipsy, he had a lucid dream that someone pushed him off a cliff. He woke up so scared that he forgot where he was, even though he was in his own house.

They also came on nights where Karl didn't get enough sleep. 

Karl knew he had sleeping problems, and it didn't help that he did not take medication for it. The weirdest of dreams would happen when he didn't get the necessary amount of hours.

This was one of those nights.

Chandler had the job to pick up and carry Karl to the couch. He rolled his eyes as Jimmy assigned him the task, picking up the smaller boy bridal style. 

Karl grumbled; half awake as Chandler hushed him back to sleep. “You're fine Karl, I’m putting you on the couch.” Karl nodded, even though he couldn't make out what his friend said. 

He fell back into his sleepy state, his thoughts bending to his will.

He found himself opening his eyes to an unfamiliar setting. He was in a hallway in front of a door. He looked down the right and left sides of the hallway and saw no doors except the one in front of him.

He opens the door to a big bedroom, with a messy desk with a pc setup. It wasn't his, he knew that for sure, he kept his desk clean of mess and his office did not have a bed in it.

It seems like no one is in the room. 

He walks towards the desk and brushes some stuff onto the chair, looking at any sign of whose room this was. 

“Karl?” The voice is genuine and sweet, filling the once silent room. Karl whips his head around to see Sapnap leaning against the doorframe. 

“You alright? You look a little spooked.” Sapnap walks up to him, taking his hand softly in his. Karl squeezes his hand hard and smiles softly. 

“I'm uh… I’m fine.” Karls hand fit right in Sapnaps hand. Sapnap seemed so real. He knew he was dreaming, and he didn't walk to wake up. His hand was soft, his thumb slowly rubbing over the top of Karl’s knuckles. 

“Alright, C’mere.” Sapnap let go of his hand and slid his hands down to Karls waist, pulling him into a hug. Karl goes along with it, the motion feeling natural to him. His arms wrap around Sapnap, his leaning down slightly to rest his chin on the other boy's shoulder.

“I forgot that you're shorter than me.” Karl sighs into his sentence, leaning into the touch. 

“Forgot hm? We've been dating for months.” 

Karl could only act surprised in his head.  _ Months?  _

_ It‘s just a dream. This is all fake. _

Part of him wishes it wasn't.

“Yeah…” Is all Karl could say. Why did this feel so realistic to him? It felt natural to hug him and touch Sapnap like this. It felt normal. 

Sapnap pulls back from the embrace, his eyes half lidded as he looks directly at Karl. Their lips are centimeters apart, Karl looking at Sapnaps; his eyes glued.

Sapnap starts to lean in, his lips parting and head tilting. Karl tilts his head the opposite way and leans in as well, his brain going on autopilot.

Karl lays awake on the couch of the Mr. Beast studio, expecting him to still be face to face with Sapnap.

He exhales in defeat, bringing his hands up to his face to rub his eyes and then letting his arms go limp.

He feels well rested though, he has no complaints as he gets up and quickly stretches his legs. He pats his pant pockets for his phone to check the time, but doesn’t feel it. 

The boys are talking, with Karl being able to hear them from the room over. He collects himself and walks into the main room, with the boys cheering his name.

“Karl’s awake!” Chandler yells. 

“Hey sleepyhead! How was your rest?” Chris says, walking up to him and patting his shoulder. 

“I feel good, I really needed that. Have you guys seen my phone?” Karl asks. “Also what time is it?” 

“You slept long!” Jimmy walks into the room, waving at Karl while holding the other boy's phone. “Here's your phone, it wouldn't stop ringing while you were asleep so we just took it and answered it.” 

Karls heart stops. “Who was the call from?” Karl tries not to show his nervousness on camera, but he knows he's failing miserably when he starts to stutter. 

“Sapnap.” Jimmy says. He passes his phone back to Karl, and he turns it on. 

He sees hundreds of twitter notifications.

**Dream tweeted:** 2:47 AM

better pack a winter coat, north carolina is cold compared to texas lol

“What?” Karl says under his breath. The boys go back to signing boxes and talking, with Karl in the background of the shot staring at his phone. He quickly fumbles his hands to open twitter, seeing thousands of mentions and tweets. 

His name is trending, along with Sapnaps. 

He navigates to the source of everything, Sapnaps main account. He sees the tweet in mention. 

“Did you guys do something to him?” Karl speaks. 

“Oh! He said you've been ignoring him, and since you've been feeling down… we decided to buy him a flight to come see you for a couple days!”

If Karl felt overwhelmed before any of this, all of those experiences are void to him. 

“...That's great!” Karl smiles weakly. “I gotta go freshen up, I'll be back.” 

Karl practically sprints to the bathroom. He locks the door and sits on the top of the toilet seat and makes a call. 

“Sapnap?” Karl speaks. He doesn't care anymore about what he said on that call a week ago, he needs to talk to him.

Sapnap picks up instantly. “Karl?” He mimics. 

“What happened while I was asleep.” 

“Jimmy was nice enough to buy me some plane tickets to North Carolina to see my favorite person! He even got me first class.”

Karls leg bounces uncontrollably. “I- Where will you be staying?” 

“With you?” Sapnap says. “I'm already packing, my flight is set for two days from now.”

“Two days?” Karl huffs into the phone. 

“I recall you saying that you  _ wished _ I was with you. Now I will be!” 

Karl wished he was 6 feet under ground right now. His head was spinning, he had just woken up and now his crush was telling him on the phone that he was coming to stay with him.

Karl would have to pull out the air mattress his roommates left for himself. He cringes just thinking about sleeping on the thing. 

“Okay. That's fine… it'll be fun.” If Karl just ignores the feelings, Sapnap’s visit will be normal. They don't even have to say home all that much, they could go out and do things to get Karls mind off everything. 

“...I'm excited to see you.” Sapnap mumbles. 

“Really?”

“Mmhm.”

Karl cant help but smile. He's in deep,  _ really deep,  _ and there's really no escaping. 

“I’ll call you soon.” Sapnap says. He hangs up, leaving Karl alone in the bathroom. He runs his hands down his face, and sighs. These next 2 days are going to be long. 

-—

To Karls dismay, the days go by quickly. He really wished they dragged on longer. 

He was busy with a surprise Mr. Beast project that Jimmy dropped on them at the last minute. They had to record a video of them giving away free money to fast food workers, with the crew going to different chain restaurants and handing stacks of cash to the drive thru people. He also had his own personal things to attend to, like helping his mom in the city over, getting groceries, and helping Alex with a project he was working on. Karl had no time to mentally or physically prepare, waking up on the day Sapnap was supposed to fly in with a stomach ache.

He opened his phone to a few texts. 

**Nick Sapnap**

**boarding my flight, cant wait to see you**

**Nick Sapnap**

**i’ll see you at pickup :)**

Karl gets up and crosses his room, yanking his curtains open. He rubs the sleep out of his eyes as he walks to his bathroom, the light blinding his eyes. 

_ You look messy. _ Karl says to himself. This will be the first time Sapnap will be seeing him in real life - he needed to look presentable. He decides on a button up and slips a colorful sweater over it, putting on some slightly baggy jeans. 

Sapnaps flight was due to land in an hour, so Karl decided to leave his house early. He reminds himself that he would have to ask Sapnap to help him with setting up his air mattress. 

He picks up some Panera for himself and sits in the pickup line of the airport. He takes slow bites, his nerves making him jittery. Soon,  _ so soon  _ he’ll see Sapnap in front of him. His smile, his messy hair, his everything. In front of him. Not just a voice anymore. 

His phone buzzes.

**Nick Sapnap**

**landed!**

**im outside :)** Karl replies.

Karls heart is in his throat. He can barely swallow his food, so he puts his bagel back in his bag and opens his car door. 

He leans against his car, looking straight at the big sliding doors to the airport. It was busy, with people all around him packing cars and coming in and out.

It's cold - late Novembers are always cold, so he puts his hands in his pockets. He missed the warmth from the summer seasons. 

He stares at his shoes. He distracts himself by counting how many times the laces cross over each other. He  _ needed  _ to stop being nervous. Everything would be fine, it's only a couple days. He should've called Chirs,  _ hell,  _ maybe even his mom. She always knew how to calm his anxiety. 

“Jacobs?”

The nickname sounded clear. Crystal clear, because there was Sapnap, standing right in front of him. He had a duffle bag and a backpack, with a small smile on his face. He looked comfortable, normal airplane clothes; a hoodie and sweatpants. 

Karl stops leaning on the car, and stands up straight. Everything seems to move slowly as Sapnap places the duffle bag down on the concrete and steps forward, wrapping his arms around the other boy.

It was bear-like but affectionate, and it felt... familiar. It felt just like the dream he had. Exactly like it, in fact. There was a slight energy to the hug, drawing them both forward to hug harder. The smell of cologne and cinnamon grew stronger as Karl buried his head into Sapnap’s shoulder.

It was 30 degrees, and Karl wasn’t cold anymore. He’s safe in the other boy’s arms, securely wrapped around his body, warm and soft.

“You're here.” Karl says into Sapnap’s shoulder. “I’m here.” Sapnap responds, rubbing Karls back with his hand. The hug lasts a bit longer until Karl pulls away, not wanting to be awkward or cause people to stare.

“You hungry?” Karl asks, opening the back seat of his Tesla. Sapnap shakes his head as he puts his suitcase in. “I ate some snacks on the plane.” 

“Ah, well let me take you to my house!” Karl says, getting in the driver's seat. Sapnap follows suit into the passengers. 

“It's crazy to see you in real life. You're not just a… voice on a screen.” Karl says as he pulls out of the airport and onto the highway. 

“Yeah, it's new.” Sapnap responds. “I'm meeting you before Dream, you should feel grateful.” Sapnap shoves Karl slightly with a laugh. 

“I'm driving! Be careful you nimrod.” Karl pouts.

Sapnap laughs a bit and then the car goes silent, he's staring at Karl’s hand as he points and prods at the screen. Karl notices, his focusing on his veins in his hands, so Karl moves his fingers slowly - and Sapnap breathes out a small laugh.

Picking up your friend (or anyone) in a Tesla could only go one way. They want to furiously swipe through the show options on the screen, or check out the mini map, or see the temperature outside.

All Sapnap did was stare. His eyes slowly follow Karl’s as types in the address to his house, following the map on the screen.

He can see Sapnap out of the corner of his eye adjust slightly. He looks flustered. 

_ That's new. He was usually loud and bold on calls; but he's mellower in real life, _ Karl thinks.

It takes them around 10 minutes to get to Karls house, the car filled mostly with silence, just the two of them enjoying their company. It seems that's enough between the two, just the other physically being there. 

Karl pulls into his driveway, exhaling a small sigh as he parks. “Driving always makes me exhausted.” He says, with Sapnap giving him a smirk. 

“I'm glad you got here safely, you know?” Karl turns off the car and faces Sapnap in his seat. He rests his hands in his lap, relaxing for a second. His nerves are gone, he was really overreacting this morning.

“Let me see your hand.” Sapnap says softly. 

He spoke too soon. 

The nerves are back. 

Karl finds himself moving closer to Sapnap, the center console of the car keeping them apart. 

“Never seen your tattoo before.” Sapnap runs his fingers on the top of Karl’s hand, making the other boy shiver. 

It’s crazy how one soft touch makes Karl melt beneath him.

He flinches as Sapnap rubs along the tattoo, looking up at his eyes.

Sapnaps hands are sizes bigger than his. They are soft, nails trimmed perfectly with a slight shine to them.

Karl’s hands are soft but veiny, his fingernails bitten and chewed because it's a never ending habit he has. It’s embarrassing sometimes. 

Sapnap is focused, looking down - but there's a slight shade of pink to his face.

Karl’s eyes go wide. He hesitates for a second before pulling his hand back. “I- uh… it's pretty cold. You want to get inside?” 

Sapnaps face looks slightly pained when he pulls away, but he adjusts and nods. “Yeah.”

The both leave the car, the air filled with small, light flakes of snow.

Sapnap gets his luggage and follows Karl inside, the heat instantly warming them up. 

There's tension between them that they know is there. The hall feels stuffy, both of them standing inches apart because of how much space Sapnap’s suitcase takes up.

“Feels so much better in here.” Karl walks deeper into the house, Sapnap following his voice.

The hall leads to the kitchen, that branches off into a small living room and another hallway. Enough for a couple people to live comfortably.

“So, here's the deal.” Karl continues to walk. They end up in front of the door to his bedroom. “You're going to sleep in my room because I don't want my guest sleeping on an air mattress.”

Sapnap tilts his head. “You sure?” 

“Of course, I want you to feel at home.”

Karl’s mouth moved before he could even think.

“I mean like, home away from home.” _Good come back._ Karl thinks. He tries to show no visible panic for the fuck up.

“Mmhm, I understand.” Sapnap exhales with a smile, making Karls face flush. 

Sapnap walks in past Karl and sets his bag and suitcase down, unzipping it and placing it against the wall. He starts to unfold his clothes.

Karl crosses the room and watches him, sitting on his bed. He snaps a quick photo of the other boy, tweeting it out.

**karl too** @honkkarl

why is this nimrod in my house :/ 

[view 1 image]

**13.2k** Retweets  **9k** Quote Tweets  **96.7k** Likes

Sapnap’s phone pings instantly, making Karl’s head shoot up. Karl observes Sapnap, who is crossed legged on the floor, scrolling through his phone. 

Sapnap’s eyebrows furrow as he sees the tweet, and he looks up at Karl. 

“You're gonna get it.” Sapnap smiles, standing up. He reaches to grab Karls phone but Karl sees him coming and extends his arm up, giggling. “You have my notifications on?” He laughs.

He apparently wasn't smart enough for Sapnap though. 

Sapnap gets a hold on his wrist, towering over him as he grabs Karl’s other wrist with his other hand. He leans down, Karl falling back onto his bed, with Sapnap flush above him, his hands pinned over his head. 

Karl is too stunned to move. His wrists twitch below Sapnaps hands, him being aware of how hot his face has gotten. 

Sapnap seems comfortable, he moves closer and takes Karl’s phone out of his hand, throwing it across the bed. He then intertwined his fingers with his.

“You think you're sneaky?” Karl could get drunk on his voice right then and there. Karl is visibly flustered, and Sapnap finds it funny. “I- no?” Karl laughs.

“Mmhm.” Sapnap smiles. “You’re cute, below me like this.” 

Karl feels like he's going to explode right then and there. He wants to reach up and grab the back of his neck and kiss him, but he can't. He opens his mouth to say something,  _ anything,  _ but nothing comes out.

Sapnap is slow with every movement, making sure that Karl is okay with it as he goes. 

_ This is all normal, right? Friends do this all the time.  _

Thing is, Karl hasn't had anyone over in a while and most of his friends are online, so how would he know?

-—

Karl forgot one thing. The air mattress. 

The thought fled his mind because he had been busy with Sapnap, they decided to order food and stream for a while after brushing off the moment on the bed.

It kept on replaying in Karl’s mind as they ate their takeout, looking up at Sapnap as he took bites. His chest lightened as Sapnap made eye contact with him. They had some downtime to just talk and watch TV, making Karls nerves calm down.

Karl goes live later, the title of the stream in all caps. 

“ **THE SAPNAP MEETUP** ”

Sapnap sits on the bed because he doesn't want to show his face, but he waves his hand at chat. They end it late, around midnight. 

Karl grabs his pillows and blankets out of his closet and tells Sapnap goodnight, leaving for the guest bedroom. He's tired, the exhaustion from the stream hitting him like a truck. He opens the door and is greeted to an empty room.

No air mattress.

He totally fucking forgot. It's way too late to go up into the attic and get the box down, start the air pumper and inflate it. He’s tired and he doesn't want to ask Sapnap because he's his guest, and he's probably as equally tired as he is.

He leaves the room and walks to the living room, his blanket being dragged along the floor behind him. He sets up on the couch, and lays down, his body stiffly laying straight. 

He can face on either of his sides, because he would just fall off. He  _ really  _ needed a new couch. 

_ Just try to sleep. _ This wasn't going to be good. Karl was used to sleeping in his bed and not a stiff couch, he picked out the mattress just for himself so it would help him as he slept. The couch cushions were not helping.

He layed, staring at the ceiling, only getting around 2 hours of sleep before waking up again. Half asleep and bothered, Karl got up with blanket in hand, and trugged to his room. He slowly opened the door, using his phone screen to light the way. He didn't care if this would be awkward for them in the morning, or Sapnap would be surprised by waking up next to him, he  _ had _ to sleep in his bed. 

He moved to sit on his bed, seeing Sapnap asleep. He sirs awake, rubbing his eyes. 

“Can I… sleep here?” Karl says sluggishly. Sapnap sees how tired the boy and nods, scooting over and opening the covers. Karl slides under the covers, keeping space between them. He sighs in relief as his head hits his pillow, looking over at Sapnap.

“Is this where you would call me?” Sapnap murmurs, leaning on his side. Karl faces him and nods, “Yeah. I would place the phone on my pillow, it would sound like you were next to me.”

Silence, only the well known sounds of rustling sheets are heard.

“Can I touch you?” Sapnap asks innocently. Karl visibly blushes, hoping the other boy doesnt see in the dark. He nods slowly. 

Sapnap snakes his arms around Karl’s waist and pulls him in, Karl going with the motion and nuzzling his face into the other boy's chest. 

“This isn’t weird for you… right?” Sapnap runs his hand through Karls hair.

“Not at all… this is all I've wanted for so long.” Karl sighs into his chest. “Same here.” Sapnap responds.

The rhythm of Sapnap running his hands through Karl’s hair and rubbing delicate circles into his hips lull him to sleep. It's just like a dream, but this time it's reality.


	6. Blizzard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karl and Sapnap find themselves stuck together after it snows overnight.

Karl woke up to a bright blinding light coming from the half opened window. It wasn't the best wakeup call, but then he realized he was tangled up with Sapnap in his own bed which made him feel better.

It felt abnormal to be waking up next to someone because in all honesty, Karl never had. He never really snuggled with anyone before or slept in someone's arms, unless you count the times when he was a toddler. 

He never realized how touch starved he was until this moment.

But now with Sapnaps arms loosely draped around his waist with their legs tangled together, sharing body heat as they faced towards each other - Karl could say that he felt… fulfilled.

Fulfilled in a way to say that Sapnap was perfect at this. There was a beat of hesitation as he laid there in his arms, thinking about if this would make things awkward for them, but then he realized that Sapnap was the one to ask for permission. 

He started to pull away from the embrace, making the other boy shift in his sleep, his eyes opening slightly. 

“G’morning…” Sapnap groans, yawning an extended yawn. His hair is messy as he runs a sweater-pawed hand through it. “How’d you sleep?” 

“Never slept better, actually.” Karl swung his legs over the edge of his bed and stretched his back. He felt fingers curl around his midriff, making him tense up. “That's good.” Sapnap says. Karl is pulled back into his lap, with Sapnap resting his chin on his shoulder.

“It's so bright in here.” Sapnap mumbles. Karl can feel his breath on his neck, making him even more tense. 

Karl exhales and relaxes into the touch. “Mhm, lemme check.” He pulls away again and Sapnap fusses, leaving him on the bed alone. Karl crosses the room and opens the curtain, the bright white light hurting his eyes.

The last thing he expected to see was 5 feet of snow.

It was up to the bottom of the window, and he just knew that his door would be blocked with snow as well. It was still falling too, heavy flakes coming down from the sky and sticking to each other.

“Shit.” Karl says under his breath. Sapnap shifts on the bed, Karls profanity making him perk up. “Uh… remember how yesterday it was snowing?” 

“Yeah?” Sapnap responds from the bed.

“There's around 5 feet of it outside.” He looks back at Sapnap, the news not phasing him.

“So?” Sapnap tilts his head like a confused puppy. 

He must be too sleepy to know what's happening. “So… That means we're kinda… stuck. You might miss your flight.” 

“It’s up to my window so it's probably covering the door-“ Karl starts to panic. He runs his hands through his hair and tugs a bit, looking back at Sapnap. 

Sapnap is up and in front of him, his arms slightly outstretched about to touch him, but he stops before he does.

“Hey. It’ll be alright. I’m here, okay?” Sapnap reassures. Karl nods and takes a breath. 

He's been snowed in once before, and that was when he was by himself. The panic was way worse too, since his mom was out of town and he didn't know who to call.

Sapnap touches his shoulder softly, and Karl tenses up, but let's Sapnap do it. Sapnap rubs his shoulder and pulls him into a hug. There's no talking, just fluid movements from the both of them. Sapnap pulls back and cups Karls cheek, looking into his eyes. 

The panic grows worse, but in a different department. 

Sapnap was so beautiful. His hair was messy but looked fluffy, dark brown locks overlaying over the other. His eyes looked tired, but concerned, looking deep into his. Sapnap pulls away from the embrace when Karl calms down, and sits back on his bed. 

There's silence as Karl grabs his phone from the nightstand, checking his texts. “You might have to stay a few extra days.”ght need to say a… few extra days.”

“Fine with me. How many days do you think?”

Karl stops. “You don’t… you dont mind?” 

“I'm with you, why would I want to leave?”

Karl is whipped. _Really whipped_. This boy - who's looking at him with puppy dog eyes from his bed - has absolutely taken over his mind. 

“I mean, your flight is in 2 days right? The plows might take more than that, I'm gonna have to call them to clear the door... Then the roads might be icy so i'm not sure.” Karl rambles. He starts to pace back and forth. “You might have to call Jimmy to get a new flight.”

“So I’ll cancel my flight and stay until it’s safe to leave.” Sapnap says.

And that’s exactly what Sapnap does. He gets out of bed and follows Karl to the kitchen, first calling Jimmy and then calling the airline. He's busy on the phone for about 20 minutes, leaving Karl to his own devices. 

He tells Sapnap that he's going to get changed and he gives Karl a nod, walking back to his bedroom. 

He decides to text Alex.

**this is insane**

**Alex**

**huh ? what's wrong**

**it snowed like. 10 feet and**

**sapnap is staying until its gone**

**Alex**

**ohhohohho**

**also we snuggled last night**

**Alex**

**AHAHAHAH WHAAAT**

**Alex**

**bro he likes u back no lie**

**Alex**

**did you ask to cuddle????**

**no….**

**Alex**

**U GUYS R SO FUNNY**

**HE CLEARLY LIKES U**

**JUST KISS HIM OR SMTHIN**

**BYE ALEX TALK TO U LATER**

Karl decides that he shouldn't tell Alex anything, ever again.

He slips off his hoodie and puts on a crewneck, one he uses for lounging around the house. He texts Chris and asks for him to call the plow company to come over to his house.

**Father Chris**

**How is the visit with Sapnap?**

**its fine, he has to**

**stay a couple more days**

**Father Chris**

**I figured. y’know… I could call the plow company in a couple of days so you guys can have more… quality time.. ;)**

Is it so obvious that he likes Sapnap or something?

Karl opens the door to his room to see Sapnap down the hallway, leaning on the wall scrolling through his phone. 

“Did ya get everything figured out?” Karl asks, walking up to him with a smile. 

“Yeah, Jimmy said he’ll reschedule it for when the snow is gone, whenever that is.” He says. “No worries, I always over pack.” 

Karl’s expression softens. Maybe the snow wasn't so bad after all.

-—

Karls had done a lot of thinking. Throughout the entire week of avoiding Sapnap, he would think of made up scenarios that included them. He was good at it, his overactive imagination came in handy when wanting to think about things for himself.

Now that Sapnap was here, these scenarios didn't seem so far fetched.

It was now the late afternoon, they had decided on eating leftovers before hanging out on the couch to watch something. They talk at the table mostly about Texas, and how it contrasts the Carolinas. 

Sapnap says that they never really get snow, only rarely. He says he's only seen it a couple times, but not in feet. 

Karl finds it odd, he practically grew up in the snow. 

Sapnap explains how around this time of year it would be 60 degrees of the sort, not that cold for him but cold for the other people in Texas.

“I guess I’m just used to wearing hoodies all day.” It makes Karl laugh.

Karl’s couch was big enough for several people, so Karl instinctively curls up on the side of it, knees to his chest after they had finished their food and started their show. Sapnap rounds the corner of the couch and sits down a little closer to Karl than expected.

“Wanna…” The other boy starts, making grabby hands at the older boy. Karl looks over with surprised eyes and nods, shifting his weight over to Sapnap.

Sapnap’s arm hesitantly wraps around Karl’s shoulder, with Karl laughing at his hover hands. 

“Shut up.” Sapnap jokes. “This is just… new to me.” 

Karl understands. It feels nerve wracking to be around someone who's so comfortable with physically touching you after a while. Karl feels clingy, but Sapnap returns the feeling. He must be as touch starved as he is.

_You could kiss him right now if you wanted to._

Karls face instantly turns bright red. He hopes Sapnap doesn't notice out of the corner of his eye, but he eventually feels the heat radiating off of the other's face.

“You okay?” Sapnap asks. 

Karl nods with a strained hum. “Yeah, just got a hot flash.” Sapnap’s arm squeezes harder around his shoulder. “You feel sick? I could get you some water.” 

“That would be great.” 

Karl follows his gut and leans up, pressing a kiss to Sapnaps cheek. It's devilishly close to the corner of Sapnaps mouth, and Karl quickly pulls away.

He can't read Sapnaps expression as he gets up and walks to the kitchen, leaving Karl on the couch as a bundle of nerves. He hears the faucet over the TV, and Karl stares at the screen, not processing anything. 

Sapnap rounds the corner, and Karl keeps his eyes on the screen. He's scared to see his face. 

He hands Karl the glass, which Karl takes and holds tight. Sapnap sits down and Karl looks up at him hesitantly. 

Sapnap tilts his head and kisses Karl on the cheek, pulling back with a smile. “Take a sip, okay?”

Karl can't help but smile. He takes a long sip and places the glass on the coffee table in front of them, snuggling up to Sapnap again. 

  
  


-—

The sleeping arrangement is talked about.

Karl brings it up, not wanting to be awkward about it if he decides to rummage his way back under the covers when Sapnap is asleep without him noticing. 

It's late by now, and they quickly get tired of watching TV. 

They both agree on just laying in bed together.

Karl takes Sapnap by the wrist and leads him to his bedroom, both of them laying down on his bed. Karl notices that he's always the one to be wrapped around Sap even if he's taller, but Sapnap doesn't seem to mind. 

“I’m glad to be here with you.” Sapnap says. “I really needed.. this.”

Here, with Sapnap, Karl feels safe. There's a warmth between them, their limbs melting together, feeling like one. 

“Do you feel a bit better?” Sapnao asks. Karl nods into his chest, looking up so he’s face to face with him.

Sapnaps body is like an electric blanket, the warmth radiating off his body felt so good to the other. His eyes were half lidded and droopy, his under lashes long and elegant. 

Sapnap gently relaxed his hand on the side of Karls face, Karl adjusted so he's side by side with him. His face burned.

Karl had an itch he couldn't scratch, just looking at him.

“Kiss me.” Sapnap said.

There was a beat of hesitation before Karl connected their lips, Sapnap shifting so both of his hands were on the sides of his face. 

Karl was hesitant. He didn't know which way to move or to kiss harder or softer, his hands ended up around Sapnaps midriff, kissing into him hungrily. 

Sapnap matched the energy and kissed back just as hard, his hands going into Karls hair, tugging slightly. Karl hummed into Sapnaps mouth, pulling away from the kiss with an embarrassed look on his face.

“You don't know how long I’ve been waiting to kiss you.” Sapnap says.

Sapnap never fails to make Karl flustered. His words are like a shot to the heart. 

“Me too.” Karl says. There's a beat of hesitation as they both move in sync, going back in.

Karl loses track of time - they kiss for what seems like hours until they fall asleep in eachothers arms.


	7. Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karl gets some unpleasant news.

It's crazy how fast Karl can adjust to something new.

He's always hated negative change, but when positive change came in his life, Karl was always front and center to feel better about whatever it was.

When he went to college in Portland, all he could remember was him being downright miserable. Sure, it was fun at some points; meeting new people, getting invited to things he really didn't want to go to - but most of it was dreadful.

Karls college experience went like this: 

Wake up past his alarm on Monday through Wednesday (Thursday he had off and Friday he had only 2 classes,) rush to get ready, sometimes he was lucky enough to snag breakfast at the dining hall but most times he wasn't. Go to his first class that lasted a couple hours, 20 minute break, go to his second class that lasted even more, an hour break for lunch, 3rd and 4th class were put together, and lasted until late into the night.

He would basically come out of class crawling on his hands and knees because of exhaustion. He had no time for hobbies or hanging out during the week, most of his time was spent in class, eating at the dining hall when he could, or studying in his dorm room all alone.

This is where he got in the habit of downing energy drinks to stay alive. This would end up being a bad habit, drinking energy drinks over having undiagnosed borderline insomnia was bad. 

Karl experienced a negative change on top of several other dominoing negative changes.

Sleepless nights, obvious eye bags, mood shifts, isolation, panic, anxiety, migraines, fatigue, excetera. 

It got so bad that one day, Karl couldn't even leave his dorm room. He was too mentally and physically exhausted. He was pondering dropping out of college for a while at that point, so he called his mom and said one thing. 

“I feel miserable.”

She consoled him, asking what was wrong. Karl went on and on, telling her about his circumstance. 

“I just want to come home.” Is all he said at the end. Positive change was over the horizon as Karl signed the withdrawal form, leaving Portland for good and coming driving back home with all of his stuff piled high in his trunk. 

Karl adapted to being at home, starting his Twitch channel and getting a few jobs to get him financially stable enough to get his own place with a few roommates.

Joining DreamSMP and meeting all of his friends made him feel really happy, even if he still had some general anxiety that plagued him.

Meeting Sapnap, and being him made him feel like he was on Cloud 9. 

The first day after the kiss was nerve wracking to wake up to.

He woke up to Sapnap looking directly at him, which spooked him. It was practically a jumpscare, making Karl flinch. 

“You scared me.”

“G'morning to you too.” Sapnap huffed a laugh, patting the top of Karl’s head.

Sapnap leans in and kisses Karl like there were no problems. His mouth tasted like Karls toothpaste, Sapnap must've slipped out of bed without him noticing to freshen up.

Sapnap’s hand rests on the skin of Karl’s waist, his hands slightly cold. He pulls away, smiling back at him.

“Minty.” Is all Karl could comprehend. 

“Brushed my teeth already.” Sapnap pulls at the side of his mouth, revealing his back teeth. 

“Just for me?” Karl asks. Sapnap nods. His hand goes from Karls hip to his wrist - pinning the wrist above Karl and proceeds to crawl on top of him.

Sapnap kisses him again, this time a little hungrier. Karl held his waist, smiling through the kiss.

“What?” Sapnap pulled back with a smile.

“You're cute.” Karl says. The boy above him leans down, but instead kisses along Karl’s jawline, and ends up at his neck.

Karl is ticklish. He had been kissed in a while, so he forgot how it felt for someone to kiss his neck. He squirms and laughs, with Sapnap laughing as he kisses. Karl wraps his arms around Sapnaps back, craning his neck so he had more room.

“Mm,” Sapnap says between a kiss. “We-“ another kiss. “should-“ another. “get out-“  _ another. _ “of bed now.” Sapnap pulls away.

He gets off of him, standing up to stretch, leaving Karl whining on the bed.

It wasn't that scary after all.

After that he adjusted to waking up in the other boy's arms, and kissing him. Sapnap was always awake before him, on his phone or doing something like looking out the window or playing with Karls hair. Soft “good mornings” were shared and they locked lips, savoring the feeling until one of them pulled away. 

They couldn't go anywhere because of the snow, and Karl prayed that it would never go away so Sapnap could stay with him. They got in the routine of rolling out of bed to go straight to the couch to snuggle again, watching some sort of cartoon or anime. 

Sapnap would intertwine his fingers with his, Karl rubbing his thumb over Sapnap’s knuckles. 

Sometimes Sapnap would fall asleep, leaning all of his body weight on Karl and Karl held him like a child in his arms, helpless.

He may or may not have a few selfies with a sleeping Sapnap on his phone.

Karl would ”cook” dinner, aka heating up frozen chicken fingers and french fries in his air fryer until they were hot and crispy. Sapnap didn't seem to mind, he would sometimes make them both ramen, adding two packages of noodles into a pot instead of one. 

He knew how to cook it seemed, asking if Karl had any miso paste or liquid aminos. Karl was not well versed in the area of cooking, but to his surprise he ended up having some of the items Sapnap asked for.

He looked forward to whenever Sapnap would surprise him with food.

It was the third day, and they were standing in the kitchen, music softly playing on Karl’s bluetooth speaker as Sapnap made bagels for the both of them.

“I don't want you to go.” Karl remembers saying on the third day of being snowed in. His eyes widen at how fast his mouth could move before thinking and shoots his gaze to the ground. 

Sapnap’s back had been turned to Karl but he instantly turned to look at him after he spoke. 

He reaches for Karls hand and takes it, rubbing on his fingers.

“I don't want to go either.” Sapnap doesn't meet his gaze. Sapnap turned back around and finished toasting the bagels, handing Karl a paper plate and walking by him.

Sapnap acts on edge for the rest of the day. He flinches when Karl touches his shoulder when coming back from the bathroom, he tenses up when Karl rubs his back when they are about to fall asleep. He's more silent, and less touchy, making Karl question if he's doing something wrong. 

“Do you feel okay?” Is how Karl phrases it. He doesn't want to scare him. 

“I feel fine.” Sapnap smiles weakly. “I just, I feel distracted for some reason. I’m sorry.” 

“It's okay, I understand.” Karl empathizes. “Lets get some sleep, okay?” Karl takes his hand and brings it to his lips, kissing his knuckles. 

“Yeah. Goodnight.” Sapnap says. He kisses his forehead as Karl snuggles into him. 

He sleeps faced away from Karl for most of the night.

—-

The fourth day was the worst day. 

Karl woke up to loud, mechanical noises, and a phone call. 

He reached over to hug Sapnap closer, but all he was greeted with was a face full of pillow. 

The fabric tasted gross and plain, so he peeled away from the pillow to pick up his ringing phone. He didn't bother to see who was calling, he just picked it up.

“Hello?” Karls voice was croaky. 

“Get your butt out here and say hi to me! Put on a jacket first, I don't want you to be cold.” Chris said on the phone, the mechanical sounds being even louder on his end. “Oh! also Tucker and Sapnap are out here.”

Karl pressed the end call button and got up out of bed.

The noises could be heard through the wall, and Karl already felt a headache coming on. He opened his closet and grabbed his winter coat off the hanger, hastily wrapping it around himself and making his way to the door.

He slipped on his shoes and easily opened the door, no snow was in the way of it. His whole yard was clear, along with his driveway, the street and several of the neighbors.

“Hey!” Chris waves from down the driveway. Sapnap is holding Tucker in his arms, playfully bouncing him up and down.

Karl smiled at the sight, but something churned in his chest as he walked down the now clear yard. The plow was pulling out of his yard and making its way down the street. 

“Sapnap was just telling me about how being stuck inside was. Sounds like it wasn’t so bad.” Chris laughs. Karl shoots a wide eyed glare and Sapnap, and all he does is smile. 

“I also dropped off the tickets I texted him about yesterday.” 

Sapnap stops bouncing Tucker, and Karls eyes widen slightly. Tucker whines up at him, grabbing at Sapnaps hoodie strings.

“Plane tickets?” Karl asks. Chris has a confused look on his face. “Yeah, he's flying out tomorrow. Jimmy told me to drop off the tickets.” Chris says. 

Sapnap won't make eye contact with him as Karl looks over to him. He decides to go along so Chris doesn't feel upset. “Oh yeah! Totally… they uh… totally crossed my mind. Sorry, I had trouble sleeping last night.”

“It's ok bud.” Chris takes Tucker back from Sapnap, holding him snug to his chest. “Well, I gotta get going, I have groceries to pick up.” Chris pulls out his car keys. “It was nice meeting you Sapnap! Also, enjoy your clean yard Karl!” 

Chris walks off to his car and Karl makes his way back inside before Sapnap could say a word.

The tension in the hallway is high. Karl stands there, his sweater pawed hands up to his face.

Sapnap walks in after him and stops, closing the door behind him to not let anymore cold air in.

“Karl…” Sapnap starts.

“What time do you leave tomorrow?” Karl lets his arms drop to his sides. He looks back at Sapnap, his eyes watery.

The hall is silent again. Familiar to Karl, the silence is long and stretches out until the other boy speaks.

“8 pm.” Sapnap says. 

“Chris told you he was coming and you didn't tell me?” Karl speaks, his words laced with anger. Sapnap senses it. 

“I didn't want to make you upset.”

“It was going to happen eventually. You should've just told me so I wouldn't be… be like.. like this.” More tears form. 

Sapnap walks towards him, wrapping himself around Karl in a hug.

“Get off of me.” Karl murmurs into his chest. Sapnap doesn't stop hugging though. He feels as Karl inhales, his body shaking as he does. His chest heaves as he cries. 

“Please.” Karl begs.

“I found out yesterday, it was all so sudden.” Sapnap says.

“Please let go.” Karl says again. Sapnap does, and he watches as Karl wipes his eyes and walks down the hall, turning the corner. Sapnap hears a door close from deep in the house. 

Everything came crashing down, and Karl felt oddly numb. The feeling of being upset left him all alone, staring at his door. The door knob doesn’t turn, or wobble, nothing. Sapnap doesn't follow him.

Karl moved to pick up his phone. He had to distract himself from whatever the hell just happened.

“Hello?” Alex picks up, his voice sounding like he's out of breath. 

“Are you busy right now?” Karl asks quietly. He doesn't want Sapnap to know he's on the phone with him.

“Nah, I’m on a bike ride right now and I'm taking a water break. Whats up? Haven't heard from you in a couple da-“ 

“Nick is leaving tomorrow.” Karl deadpans. His voice sounds emotionless. 

“Really…?” Alex is careful with his words, Karl can sense that he really doesn’t know what to say. He can hear the crunch of a plastic water bottle on the other side of the line.

“He found out yesterday and didn't decide to tell me. We've… got really close in the past few days and I just- god I feel selfish.”

“Close?” Alex asks.

“Alex.” Karl exhales a laugh. “I did what you told me to do.”

“You what?!” Karl can hear Alex’s smile. “You  _ kissed him?” _ He whispers the end of a sentence like an elementary schooler.

“Yes. Yeah…” Karls smile falters. “A couple times but- he’ll be gone tomorrow.”

“...I understand. It’s okay to miss people. I don't like seeing you upset though, be grateful that you got this chance to meet him y’know? It’s special.” 

Karl nods. “Mhm. I don't even know what we are? Like if we were dating and stuff. I guess… I guess time will tell.” Karl sighs. “Sorry for bothering you.”

“Don't apologize. I'm glad I got to talk to you, I'm always here for you dude. Tomorrow after he leaves I can stream and we can play a game together, how about that?” Alex says.

“That sounds great, actually.” Karl smiles. A distraction will hold him over. 

Alex says goodbye and hangs up, leaving Karl again, alone in his room. He lays face first on his pillow, breathing softly. 

He didn't know at what time he fell asleep, but he woke up to the sun going down. He felt disoriented as he lifted his head off his pillow, a puddle of drool on the case. He sighs, looking up and around the room. 

Sapnap must still be in the living room. He gets up, his eyes half open as he opens the door to

The hallway leading towards the living room is dark, but there's a dim light around the corner. Karl shuffles his feet along the floor down the hall, looking around the wall into the living area.

Sapnaps on the couch, knees to his chest. Karls fake, electric fireplace is on, lighting up the room. The TV is on, playing some sort of reality show. Sapnap looks bored.

Karl doesn't say anything as he walks to the couch, sitting down on the cushion next to Sapnap, but still keeping distance. They exchange no words, as Sapnap unfolds his legs, sitting up straight.

“I'm sorry.” Karl says.

“No, I'm the one who should be sorry.” The other boy says.

Karl shakes his head. “I reacted like a child. I just… I've gotten used to you being here. It's like you've always been here, living with me.” 

“Yeah. I don't want to leave either.” Sapnap’s hand hesitates as he places it on Karls thigh. 

“I promise you, next time I’ll fly you out or I'll make some sort of arrangement where I can see you.” He sounds serious about what he's saying.

Karl nods. “I feel asleep in there.” He puts his hand on top of Sapnap’s

“I was worried, but I didn't want to come in.” Sapnap’s voice gets softer at the end of the sentence.

Karl turns and hugs Sapnap, holding him into his chest. “We’ll see eachother again.” Karl affirms.

“We will.” Sapnap responds. “I promise.”


End file.
